Body image issues. We all have them. Today, mine got the best of me and also affected my workout. Nothing upsets me more than my workout being messed with.
The WOD was Isabel. 30 snatches for time. I believe perscribed was 75lbs for girls. We were warming up, setting up our bars, and practicing the weight we were going to use. I had 65lbs on my bar and was going to try that a few times to make sure my form was correct, then possibly bump up to 75lbs as perscribed before we started the WOD. Dave came around to watch form, and he came to me first. I set up, started the pull, and as I was on my way overhead, I felt my shirt start to ride up. I immediately bailed, threw the weight and landed on my butt. WHY?!!! All because my shirt was riding up and I didn’t want to risk the chance of anyone seeing my belly. I am so dumb.
Needless to say, Dave told me the weight was too heavy, and made me do Isabel with only the bar (45lbs). I didn’t want to tell him I bailed because of my shirt. I breezed through it in less than 2 minutes and was so upset with myself for letting my negative body image get in the way.
I got home and told my husband. He really is my biggest fan. He said “You just had twins. Why are you even worried about what everyone thinks of your belly?” I couldn’t even answer that. What AM I worried about? It’s my belly. It’s not perfect (yet)!
It happens to the best of us. It’s a matter of picking and choosing your battles. What is more important? Getting that weight up there right, and not bailing with the risk of hurting myself OR bailing only because someone might catch a glimpse of my untoned belly? If I hadn’t been so worried about my stupid belly, I possibly could have kicked butt in a perscribed workout only a few weeks into CrossFit.